this journal entry didn’t have a date, but it’s probably from sometime in november 2013, when i was living in vancouver, and crying every day. i was never sad, but i’d walk through the streets and find tears flowing from my eyes. it’s so utterly cliche, but when i was living there, exploring so many new things by myself, becoming a new person, i couldn’t help but feel like my heart was exploding every single minute that my eyes were open and my heart was beating. i was walking through the street of the place i live now, looking around at the trees and the sky, and trying to tap into that convulsive happiness, but i couldn’t fit it. it’s not that i’m not happy here, it’s just that my experience in vancouver made my emotions really…heightened? vaulnerable? whichever one makes me sound less like a douchebag. i was probably crying when i wrote this. anyway, i chose this photo, at first, to juxtapose the statement, however, now i think they fit quite well together. the saying “blue for you” comes to mind, and i was quite literally blue for vancouver. this was from summer 2013, during a costume party at the lodge that i work at. the next morning we found blue hand prints all over the resort. viva la blue man group.
COMING UP: PHOTOS
--> reading my favourite book, "a complicated kindness", by canadian author miriam toews.
--> always sticking my head out of my window and people watching on my busy city street.
--> constantly walking everywhere, refusing public transit in advocacy of ma legs and smiling at strangers.
--> forever questioning what people mean when they say "that's just part of life".
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